Now to face Reality...

As an Army Wife, sometimes its easier to live life in my own little fantasy world. Where I have all the time in the world. Where I have no worries, no stress and all the help I can get from my husband. Then reality comes flying by slapping me in the face. I know the big "D" is coming and coming soon. But stressing over it doesnt make life easier. So I live in my fantasy world and dont think about..the big "D". Probably not the healthiest thing to do but it helps me get thru.

My husband announced at dinner a couple nights ago that when he gets back from his month long training(which he has already lefted for) that they may be getting a block leave before the big "D". Block leaving meaning he gets some of his 30 days leave which he only gets when the Army approves it. Which is usually 2 weeks in summer and 2 weeks around Christmas. So that being said it brought several things to my mind at once.

1. Set aside money to go home to MI
2. Set aside money for new tires on car
3. Start big "D" check list
so on so on so on ect ect ect....

There goes the bulk of our tax return money. My goal was to pay off one credit card bill with tax money so i can begin the snow ball effect. Then it dawned on me how little time i have now...Panic attack!!!!

When I feel anxious or having a full on panic attack I do one of two things. Marathon read or manic cleaning. I manage to do both these last couple of days. Ill try to update all the books I read on my goodreads tomorrow.

Ive been trying to take a break and calm down but Im still very anxious. To the point that whenever my kids are around me I start to shake and have to remove myself or them from the room. I try my damnest to not take my stress out on them. Note another reason I am not quiting smoking for some time. Hopfully my mind will have switched into depolyment mood by the time my mom arrives on Wed for a week long stay. It will definitly help having her here. Hardest part if the day is night time. Its easy to put yourself in a state of mind during the day that their just gone at work. But when night time comes...you feel like your waiting and waiting and waiting. I found with past big "D"s to start a bed time routine to help with going to bed at night. This will be my 1st big "D" away from home staying on post in my own house. GUess this month will be the test on how I will manage.

After cleaning the upstairs I was still feeling wound up so I started a project similar to something I saw on Pinterest.com. Its a 12X12 scrapbook page picture frame and a bunch of bottle caps ive collected over the years. I was going to make it all red Coke caps or all PBR caps but decided I like the multi color look better.
I also made a homemade pizza with Fleischmann's Pizza Crust Yeast- which is super easy and ohhh so yummy.
AND I started putting up Valentimes Day decor. Every holiday I put up cards for said holiday along with crafts my boys make on my line in my kitchen.